We spend all of our time together, we fight and make-up constantly, and we always shower together… That about sums up the tumultuous relationship I have with my hair. As much as I sometimes hate my hair for being just about as stubborn as I am, I still pride myself on it most days. I know it’s harder to maintain, but I love having long hair. More often than not over the years, you can anticipate seeing me with long hair… until I become possessed of a dangerous idea.

Better think twice…

Every few years this dangerous little thought invades my subconscious, Inceptioning its way to the front of my mind. Suddenly my every waking thought becomes: I want to cut my hair shorter.

This thought is typically borne out of frustration. Maybe I’ll hop out of the shower to an especially tangled Medusa-head. Maybe I’ll notice how dead my ends are. Maybe I’ll be bored and cling to that age-old pitfall: “I need a change!”

Back in July this sneaky idea wormed its way into my mind again and, seduced by delusions of grandeur, I went over to the salon and cut off a significant amount of my hair. Around FOUR inches! In a bit of irony, the reason my hair had even gotten so long in the first place was because this SAME SCENARIO played itself out right after I graduated high school. I had long, lustrous hair and decided to massacre it after prom. …Only to realize my egregious mistake too little too late. So here I am again watching history repeat itself right atop my head.

When you make the mistake of doing anything drastic to your hair, I find that the stages of grief you go through pretty closely follow the Kübler-Ross model…

The Five Stages of Haircut Grief

1. Denial—My hair is so healthy and soft! And it looks so… different! I’m glad I went through with this!!! It looks okay. …I just have to get used to it, that’s all. Hair grows fast, right?

2. Anger— WHAT WOULD POSSESS ME TO DO THIS? I CAN’T EVEN PUT THIS MY HAIR IN A BUN. HOW STUPID CAN I BE? WHY DID I THINK THIS WAS A GOOD IDEA?!

3. Bargaining— Maybe I could get extensions… Would anyone really be able to tell? Just until it grows in a little…

Everything I once had… (side note: this is from February 2012, which was roughly about 40-50lbs. ago.)

4. Depression— (typically prompted by seeing a picture with your longer hair) This is the worst haircut I’ve ever had. I can’t even style it to make it look good… Why even bother trying to do my hair at all? I look like Quasimodo from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. This is the biggest mistake of my life. If I just hadn’t gotten my hair cut my life would be perfect…

5. Acceptance— My hair is a lot healthier… And I don’t have any split ends now… Maybe it actually doesn’t look half bad. I just have to wait for it to grow in and remember this experience for next time.

Right now I think I’m somewhere between depression and acceptance. The layers I got most recently are seriously heinous. I hope that maybe, just maybe, this time I’ll learn my lesson and avoid making spontaneous, life-altering decisions about my livelihood (what could be more central to a woman’s livelihood than her hair?) without seriously considering the pros and cons. Unfortunately, I think I’m just doomed to infinitely make the same mistake.

Have you ever regretted lopping your locks?

14 thoughts on “Haircut Contrition

    1. Wow! You do like it long. I’ve never been shorter than the ends just brushing my shoulders, but whenever I cut it anywhere shorter than about cleavage length, I immediately regret it.

  1. Meeee toooo!!! I have a long hair obsession compounded by a dread of all hairdressers, and have had some scary incidents in their clutches. I think they’re out to shear us all bald, really and have just accepted I will NEVER be fully happy with how my hair looks.

    1. They can be horrible! And when you’re in the chair post-cut you’re so desperate to believe it looks good you cling to any kind of empty praise they dole out.

    1. Oh my goodness. I just clutched my hair at the thought. Do some serious hair soul-searching before getting in that chair, girl! That’s a lot of hair to lose!

    1. 😦 Maybe with the right layers it could work? It breaks my heart when people can’t have or THINK they can’t have long hair. It’s such a wonderful thing.

  2. I go to the stylist maybe once a year. Mostly because I’m afraid of them here. Every woman I ever see sitting on the chairs have male haircuts, super short and spikey and straight to the bone. The stylists do as well. I have really long curly hair and not many people know how to cut curly hair well. I speak of many past experiences full of horror and dispair-7th grade, stylist didn’t know squat and left me with an afro..yeah, that was a fun year! I only had one great stylist back in L.A. that knew how to handle my hair perfectly..then she retired. Not that would help anyway since I live too far. One hell of a commute for a haircut if you ask me.

    My husband also loves my long hair and it’s really one of the main reasons I keep letting it grow. But I do get the cutting it all off urges. I even threaten this every other day when my hair is so frizzy and I can’t do anything with it unless it’s washed again! It’s a constant struggle to keep it healthy and I find all I do now is buy deep conditioners or make natural ones to slather all over my head. It’s getting to me but I also can’t let go of my locks. The last time I attempted to chop it off the stylist looked at me with horror and then I told her..okay maybe only the ends..lol

    1. I always judge stylists by what I see happening in the chair. There’s nothing else to look at when you’re waiting! I think my boyfriend would love if I cut my hair short, but my opinion is much more important. 😉
      I actually started researching hair growth supplements yesterday–that’s how much this is bothering me. I’ve read some reviews that claim they work wonders for your hair growth AND your nails… now I have to decide if I take the gamble and trust the reviewers.

  3. I have hacked off my long locks more than once. It’s always a tough lesson to learn the hard way. It’s been about 15 years since incident. After a particularly BAD cut that took me about 5 years to grow OUT, I swore I’d never hack it again. I plan to take this mane to my grave. LOL!

  4. My hair tends to get ridiculously long because I have serious anxiety about getting my hair cut. heh. I occasionally cancel my appointments and occasionally I just don’t show up. I’ve even sat in front of the shop and…..driven away before I had the courage to go in. I’m glad my hair cut man likes me and still keeps me. Nice post, very humorous

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