Every October 1st, the maligning of black cats begins. The Halloween flags with black cats arching their backs in the moonlight appear on front porches. Gel window clings of witches flying with their loyal ebony felines at the end of their brooms are affixed to windows. Insulting figurines depicting black cats in all manner of annoyance come out of storage and appear on bookshelves. Insensitive people look out to ensure no black cats intersect with their paths perpendicularly.

Black cat Halloween decor is a multi-million dollar business, and ever year the coal-colored kitty community fights to end the stereotypes that have tarnished their reputation for too long. You may be familiar with some of their acts of defiance: refusing to go in their carrier to go to the vet, not letting you rub their belly for more than two seconds, and attacking every dangling piece of fabric or hair in a ten-foot radius.

My cat Rorscach is a tuxedo cat, though he only wears his tie and top hat on special occasions. I knew when we adopted Rory that he came with some emotional baggage from his dark side. He would struggle every Halloween because the plight of black cats is a part of his monochromatic heritage.

Last year, his very first Halloween, Rory stayed strong and handled this difficult holiday with the temperament of the a tabby cat. The giant bowl of candy, carved pumpkins, and gravestone decorations didn’t trigger any of his BCSD: Black Cat Stress Disorder.  He had one outburst, but that might have had more to do with his Halloween costume than his anger over the wrongs committed against his ancestors:

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Even though Halloween is still several weeks away, Rory is struggling to contain his Halloween rage this year, and I think I may have been the one who set him over the edge. We didn’t watch many Halloween movies last year, just The Nightmare Before Christmas and The Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown, but earlier this week I made the reckless decision to turn on Hocus Pocus. I may have noticed a slight shift for the worse in Rory’s demeanor, but who doesn’t when Bette Midler and Sarah Jessica Parker are sharing the screen? I didn’t realize this Halloween cult classic would bring Rory’s deep-seated wrath to the surface.

Despite his struggle to come to terms with his mixed background, seeing that black-flamed candle get the respect it deserves made the heartbreak of the black cat’s Halloween condition all too tragic for poor Rory, and he snapped…

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Now I know that witches are what triggers Rory, I have some concerns about how I’m going to watch American Horror Story: Coven next week. I’m hoping it was just Sarah Jessica Parker’s acting that made him want to ruin fake pumpkins and demolish sheer curtains.

If you or someone you love owns a black or partially black cat, please be sensitive to their needs during the month of October. Only you can prevent the perpetuation of superstitions and BCSD.

29 thoughts on “One Tuxedo Cat Avenges Black Cats Everywhere

  1. My parents own mostly black cats and they’re always scared to let them out right before and on halloween for fear that someone will try to kidnap them or sacrifice them or something.

  2. My cat is a tuxedo cat also! I’ll keep a look out for BCSD, I get the feeling my cat runs a local cat mafia gang so if lots of black cats go missing in my area, I’ll know he’s suffering from BCSD and has acted on it.

    1. Perfect! Now if Rory ever needs a date to a feline fancy black tie affair, I know where he can find a date.

      Speaking of local cat mafia gang, when give Rory a human voice, we usually envision him talking like a 1930s gangster (Where’s the catnip, see?) or Moe from The Three Stooges.</em?

      1. Yes I imagine Crunchie speaks with a mashup of a posh British and a Russian accent.

        Oh I’m sure he’d be delighted to go to a feline black tie affair, as long as he can go to sleep on someone’s lap?

      2. Is your cat a boy? I’m not really sure about Rory’s sexuality. Sometimes he antagonizes the (female) dog, but other times he’s rubbing up against her…

        I think the lap can probably be arranged.

      3. Yes he is, I don’t think he has much time for sexuality to be honest, he’s too busy sleeping, killing and eating.

    1. Candidly, I’m not sure Rory is completely mentally stable, either. He has these fits sometimes where he runs around the house doing these weird meows…

  3. I don’t do cats, but if I did I’d have a great time messing with it…specially during this time of year. You should train Rory to run across people’s paths.

    1. Thanks!

      To be honest, my boyfriend tricked me a little. He told me it was inspired by the creator of the ink-blot test, and this was before I had seen Watchmen, but I later found out the truth… He was named after someone with super powers, of course.

  4. My sister keeps her black cat close on Halloween and I shake my head because it is even necessary. It’s 2013 yet people can still be insane. Tell Rory that we all believe in him, he will overcome BCSD! Once he masters his impulses, he can be the official spokescat… but only if the curtains make it through this year unscathed. 😉

    1. I’m considing starting an annual Halloween walk in order to raise money for BCSD.

      He’s actually okay with the curtains! The couch and mattress, however…

Don't you sass me! ...Actually, please do.

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