With Turkey Day less than a week away, Christmas isn’t far behind. Over the next few weeks, in between eating homemade baked goods and giving our pants buttons a much-needed sabbatical, you’ll answer tenacious questions like, “My dentist sent me a holiday card–think he does that for everyone?” and “What stuff do I already own can I wrap up and re-gift this year…” Surpassing all these inquiries in importance is the one question that reigns supreme: when is it appropriate to start decking the halls?

Take the Cosmopolitan style quiz below to determine when you should start consulting Pinterest to highlight your failings as a creative person or when you should plan on nursing a herniated disk from moving the Christmas tree box.

decor

What kind of welcome mat do you have outside your front door?

A.      Well, right now I have one that says “Autumn Greetings.” I change it each season! For instance, my Halloween mat said “Beware!” in a font that mimics dripping blood. Isn’t that cute!? I had to have it. (HomeGoods, if you were wondering!)
B.      It’s just a regular mat. People are just going to be wiping their feet on it anyway—no sense in over-thinking it.
C.      Welcome mat? How posh! Do your visitors routinely go trudging through the swamp to get to your front door? At my house, if you’re dirty, you take your shoes off outside like a buttcrack-baring repairman.
D.      I think I got it as a gift…

How much thought would you say you put into decorating your living space?

A.      My home is a reflection of myself. I want it to be warm and inviting and tastefully showcase my style and interests. I put thought into every piece of art and every stick of furniture.
B.      I like to have cool things, but nothing so fancy that spilling a glass of milk causes heart palpitations.
C.      Who am I trying to impress, huh? As long as there’s a place to sleep and room to eat, that’s all I need.
D.      I’ve acquired a few things here and there, but I don’t consciously think about it or anything.

How do you feel when you see stores putting out Christmas decorations in October?

A.      I think it’s wonderful—the sooner the better! In world filled with adversity and uncertainty, we could all use a new snow globe with a penguin on ice skates inside it before Halloween has even passed. Why not beat the rush?!
B.      It’s not that surprising in our society. I think it’s a little early, but if they put it out, someone will buy it.
C.      THOSE CAPITALIST PIGS! We can’t even wait until one holiday has ended before shoving another down everyone’s throats???? FILTHY DISGUSTING PIGS!
D.      I don’t know. It doesn’t really bother me one way or another.

What have you been listening to lately?

A.      ‘Tis the season for Christmas music! Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la!
B.      My regular faves with some Christmas carols added in. I admit, “Carol of the Bells” may be in my Top 25 Most Played playlist on iTunes.
C.      The sounds of impressionable young minds being corrupted by the likes of Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, and Glee. And don’t get me started on how Mariah Carey ruined Christmas for anyone with a functioning cochlea.
D.      Whatever happens to be playing.

Has anyone ever described you as “overeager”?

A.      Now that you mention it, yes! I hear that all the time!
B.      A few times. I have my moments.
C.      Nobody tells me how eager I should be, because it’s none of their damn business.
D.      It’s entirely possible, but nothing’s sticking out in my mind. I guess it really doesn’t matter to me.

________________________

Mostly As: Late October – Early November

You love holidays almost as much as you love decorating. For each holiday, your living space transforms into an outtake from a Pier 1 catalog, only without the you-can’t-afford-this austerity. You’re so eager to embellish your home with wreaths and tinsel that you probably carved a Frosty the Snowman pumpkin for Halloween. …Are you huffing aerosol snow frost right now?

Mostly Bs: Weekend after Thanksgiving

Despite the Santa Claus disillusionment of adulthood, Christmas brings back fond memories of sleepless Christmas Eve nights spent listening for hooves tapping on the rooftop of your problematically fireplace-deficient home. You know Christmas is driven by Capitalism and perilous cheap-asses, but your eyes still widen at the sight of a festooned Christmas tree. You value in the spirit of Christmas, and you believe in spreading it throughout your home—but only when it’s appropriate. You think it’s a bad look to already have your Christmas tree up for Thanksgiving dinner.

Mostly Cs: Never

It’s hard to tell if you’re simply a hater, Ebenezer Scrooge, an incensed Jew, or Ron Swanson. One thing’s for certain, you don’t care about decorating for the holidays (that you probably don’t even celebrate, anyway). Your version of the nativity scene consists of plain, undecorated walls, wreathless doors, and corners without Douglas Firs nestled into them. You routinely pontificate about the vapid commercialism of the holidays, and Hallmark is your sworn enemy.

Mostly Ds: Whenever the mood strikes you

You don’t get caught up in the hype of decorating for the holidays. The sight of tinsel doesn’t glean a sparkle from your eyes or prompt the reminiscent daydream of childhood innocence—they’re just foiled strips to you. You’ll hang a stocking if you must, but it’s not necessary. You could build a gingerbread house, but don’t count on a smile. You might also have a concussion.

 

32 thoughts on “Quiz: When Should You Decorate for the Holidays?

  1. Lol. As we were trying to put away Halloween decoration that we were taking down just yesterday, the wife said, “Can we please not decorate for Christmas, it’s such a pain in the ass.” It really is, but I have to do it! I can’t be that house on the street with no lights, so I’ll climb my later AFTER Thanksgiving and put on some lights Griswold style.

    1. HA! I’m so glad you’re breaking the stereotype that decorating is just for women. …Though I guess it’s more about being competitive than anything else, but I’ll take it! My boyfriend brought up all the Christmas stuff when he was “cleaning” the other day and tried to talk me into putting the stuff up before Thanksgiving, but I held my ground.

  2. So, I’m D and the wife’s absolutely an A if I’d let her. We compromise at B. It’s a very good thing the only holiday we really celebrate in SA is Christmas (though Halloween is becoming a thing, lately and shops have taken to decorating for Easter as well…luckily that idea hasn’t yet occurred to the wife).

  3. They call me scrooge at work because I wouldn’t let them hang shitty garland from my desk. I also kicked off the cornucopia and whatever the heck a squash arrangement is called. And I hate Christmas music because everyone does the same songs over and over and over. Retailers are all filthy pigs for pushing Christmas stuff in September. September!!! Is nothing in this world sacred? Can I just eat my turkey before having to think about putting up the next socially obligated piece of…

    Oh God, I think they might have a point. :/

  4. I’m an None Of The Above, most likely – I celebrate New Year’s but not Christmas, yet the New Year celebration still involves fir tree with decorations, Santa, and winter-themed wrapped presents. So I start decorating the day after Christmas, when everything Christmas-related goes on sale for least 50% off. Ok, a None of The Above with a dollop of C.

  5. I’m mostly a D but kind of a B…I like getting in the mood and torturing my husband with stupid remarks but I’m perfectly happy to do it the weekend after Thanksgiving.

    1. Yeah, I’m a B type of person. I like to decorate, but I want to wait until after Thanksgiving is over. I don’t think the two holidays should ever intersect decoratively.

  6. I’m a B – although we don’t have Thanksgiving over here, so I’m basing it on the fact that as much as I love Christmas, I try to hold off on the decorating front until we reach December, which puts it the weekend after, right?

  7. I got a lot of B’s. Which is very accurate. When I was searching for a halloween costume at Target and found myself in a winter wonderland, I did have a bit of a meltdown. I like to give all my holidays the time and appreciation they deserve. I currently have one winter/Christmas decoration out, but only because I just bought it at Goodwill and I didn’t want to have to put it away and out again.

    This weekend I’ll be balls deep in decking the halls.

    1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I want “balls deep in decking the halls” on a sweater immediately.

      I’m a B person, too. We put up the penguin advent calendar a couple days ago, but I’ve firmly insisted that’s it until after Thanksgiving.

      1. Lol I’m tempted to do something with it.

        Also, can we talk about how this quiz takes me back to a time when filling out the quizzes in Girl’s Life magazine made my week?

Don't you sass me! ...Actually, please do.

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